GOING GA GA.....

JANUARY 1

I was planning to stay at home. I was planning to be good. I was aiming for a fresh, hangover-free start to the year, to sit quietly on my balcony as the clock approached midnight reflecting on the 12 months that were drawing to an end while sipping a carefully measured glass of Sauvignon plonk.
Instead, I was dancing in an ecstasy-fueled state with a dozen shirtless men in a crowded Bangkok nightclub in my new Lady Ga Ga t-shirt that my friend Stu gave me for Christmas.
The Ga Ga shirt proved quite a hit and was -- substance abuse and vodka guzzling aside -- to prove my undoing, attracting all sorts of flattering comments from all manner of adorable men, although I confess in my heightened state almost everyone looked fabulous.
So rather than marking the first day of 2012 doing dawn yoga, I was staggering home, a disheveled mess, hair gel stuck in unsightly clumps to my forehead and missing a sock. Don’t ask.
Will I ever grow up?
I did manage to slump on the couch and turn on the telly in time to see CNN’s coverage of New Year in New York hosted by Anderson Cooper and the hilarious Kathy Griffin, one of my idols, whose laugh a minute barbs included:

“Come on Anderson admit it, we both slept our way to the top probably with the same directors.”

“I’m carrying Justin Bieber’s love child, does that shock you?”

“Okay, now it’s time to listen to songs by dead people,” as Louis Armstrong and Frank Sinatra boomed in the background.

“Ryan Seacrest is responsible for introducing the world to the Kardashians. For that alone he should be executed.”

So, time to clean up my act and resurrect my New Year’s resolutions. But not today. I’m too hung over, so I’ll have a bit of a think about them come the morrow. For the record they include:

--Not to laugh at my straight men friend’s outfits or ridicule the way they dance
--To stop offering sexual favors in return for flight upgrades
--To buy a gravy boat
--To try to install some sort of edit button to curb the acerbic one-liners that roll off my tongue, often at the expense of others
--To be less of a Diva
--To FINALLY host the Top Ten party I’ve been banging on about for over a year
--To make a concerted effort to return the hospitality extended to me by good friends
--To redecorate my guest bedroom
--To admit that Botox is no longer out of the question
--To stop always trying to be the center of attention.

Like most resolutions, most of these will no doubt fall by the wayside, but I’d like to think I can achieve at least two of these in the coming 12 months. Gravy Boat shelf and Botox clinic here I come!
Happy New Year, hope like me you had a Ga Ga of a time.
Love Craig
P.S: I’m determined to update this blog regularly this year.